Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
