Can Purell be used as lube?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
