the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
