How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize