You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
