I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
