hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
