My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
