you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize