I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You are the jesus of drinking
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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