so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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