We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
