I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
