Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
