Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
