When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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