I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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