im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
