Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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