I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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