this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize