Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You can't just leave with hair like that
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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