At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
