The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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