What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize