things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
