dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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