I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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