i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
