i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
