I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
one two three fourrrrnication!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
