The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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