Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize