Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
