she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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