maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
