my mouth tastes like poor choices
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
