I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
