haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
