Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I love you.
Bad choice
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
