i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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