1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
