we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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