dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize