i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
