Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
