it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just forgot I was standing up.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
