I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you would pick up someone in the library
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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