I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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