mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize