Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
