My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
