please come you make the beer taste better
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
