some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
