I feel great
I just peed on a car
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
