I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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