So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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