sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
