We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
