My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize