I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He did a backflip because drugs
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
