i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
