im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You pole danced in your parka.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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