Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
