i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
