you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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