I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
