He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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