great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
