If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
