sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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