Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
