I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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