I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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