There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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