I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
