And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
