If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
