sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
